Solace

CONTENTS

Author’s Note xi

Acknowledgments xiii

Introduction 1

Chapter 1::What Is Bereavement? 5

Initial Numbness 8

Disorganization 11

Your Emotions Now 12

Your Needs Now 19

Reorganization 20

Chapter 2::Cause for Concern? 25

When to Worry 25

Can You Die of a Broken Heart? 28

Strange Things Are Happening 29

Are You Having Visitation Dreams? 29

Are You Having Flashbulb Memories? 30

Are You Having Hallucinations? 30

Are You Forgetting About the Death? 31

Are You Crying? 32

Are You Suffering from Stress? 34

Chapter 3:: Helping Yourself 39

Work Is Therapy 39

Socializing Is Therapy 40

Organizing Is Therapy 40

Taking Action Is Therapy 42

Food Is Therapy 43

Planning Is Therapy 44

Religion Is Therapy 44

Writing Is Therapy 45

Art Is Therapy 49

Learning Is Therapy 51

Reading Is Therapy 51

Sweet Moments 52

Chapter 4:: Help from Others 55

Bereavement Groups 55

Disenfranchised Grief 58

Group Benefits 61

Bereavement Counselors—Pros and Cons 64

Repression 66

The Myth of Closure 67

Help for Military Widows 68

Your Funeral Director 69

Your Family and Friends 70

The Unhelpful 72

Financial Assistants 73

Finding Help on the Internet 74

Websites 76

Blogs 84

YouTube 86

Chapter 5:: Rituals and Remembering 89

Funerals 89

Cremation 90

Green Burials 91

Eulogies 92

Mourning Customs 94

Monuments 96

Anniversary Days 99

Personal Rituals 100

Memorial Celebrations 101

Chapter 6:: Helping Children Through Grief 103

Listening to Your Children 104

Speaking to Your Children 106

Understanding Your Children 109

Chapter 7:: Novel Ways to Help Yourself 113

The Tapping Cure 113

Visualizations That Heal 117

Chapter 8::Your Future 121

Reinvention 123

Conclusion 126

Appendix 129

Bibliography by Chapter 139

Index 141